Our Goodbye

We laid our little angels to rest on Thursday July 17th. They are finally in the hands of the lord until we can meet again. We all know that they are in a better place and are no longer suffering, but it is indeed hard to let them go. The service was beautiful, and the rain managed to stop for us while they were placed into the ground next to "Twin" trees.
Although they were only here for a very short time, our boys sure managed to touch the lives of many of our friends and family. There were so many people who came to pay their respects to us, we still cannot believe the love from everyone.
We would like to thank everyone who sent thoughts and prayers our way. We know the lord works in mysterious ways, but we are positive that those prayers were answered.

Thursday July 10th

This day was the most devastating day of our lives. After 10 days of tremendous strength and fight, our little boys just couldn't fight anymore. Our precious little Zander passed away at 4:50pm and our precious little Colin passed away at 10:20pm. They are in God's hands now where they will be safe and suffer no more. We will think of them always and will miss them forever, until we meet again. These two boys were indeed angels sent to us, but taken away all too soon. We love you Colin and Zander.

They are little over a week old now (8 days to be exact)

With everyday, we have different and new challenges to the little ones. We are currently battling many ailments that both Colin and Zander both have. They are still fairly stable, but mom and I would really like to see improvements in their stats. The ventilators are still on very high pressure and higher than normal oxygen levels. The pressure and oxygen are creating complications, but we need them up to keep them stabilized. They are finally getting rid of some the excess fluid they have been taking in, but like I keep mentioning they have a long way to go. That is all for now. I will try to update photos as I get them.

Currently, I (dad) am at home taking care of girls. Mom is watching the nurses and doctors like a hawk for me. Staying at home is very difficult because I feel I am too far away from our boys, but I want to keep life as normal as possible for the girls. On nights I do not have the girls, I am driving up to the cities to see the rest of my precious family. I am sure mom likes it better when I am there. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, they are helping more than you know.

Sincerely,
Christian

6 days old now

When we first delivered the the babies and they gave us status reports on them and how exactly sick they were, the nurses and doctors had mentioned that it is going to be a roller coaster of emotions. This is much harder than they could have prepared us for. The boys seem to be switching daily who is the sicker of the two, but they are still fighting and that is all our family can hope for. The nurses have been great at keeping us updated on the progress of our boys. The doctors have been wonderful as well as what they seem to do has been working. We are by no means out of the woods, but every days challenge seems to be met by the staff. It is many small victories that allow us to keep hope.

As far as the progress goes, Colin and Zander still have many of the complications of being preemies. Their lungs have not developed well, blood pressure issues, and all around changing stats as they adapt to their new environment. The nurses and doctors are working around the clock to stabilize our boys and every time they think they have it, something new is added to the mix. These are going to be daily struggles. We appreciate the well wishes and the prayers as they have gotten us this far, please continue to remember our boys as they continue to fight through this. Mom and Dad can never thank everyone enough.

With love and appreciation,
Chris, Sam, Holly, Alyssa, Zander, and Colin.

60 hours old

Just to give everyone an update. This morning they are still working to keep the boys stable. They are doing pretty well considering how early they were born. We are still very concerned with some of the test that have been performed, but we are trying to remain optimistic that everything will work out. Zander at this point has had the most favorable test results. Colin has not done as well. They both have gained some weight, but we are hoping that they do drop soon to show they are releasing some of the extra fluid that they have accumulated through IV's and such. This is going to be a very long battle and we have only just begun. Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. Please continue to keep us and them in your prayers.

Also there are so photos at the bottom of this blog for you to look at. We have more and will be posting them periodically.

With love,
Sam, Christian, Holly, Alyssa, Colin, and Zander

25 Weeks and Delivery

Well here is the beginning of our already eventful week. I went on Monday to the ultrasound clinic in Mankato for a routine doppler screening. Before I was released the technician had to call my Perinatal Doctor and give them the results. I was then told that they wanted to see me at Abbott immediately, but didnt give me any details as to why. I rushed home, grabbed a bag of clothes, and Chris and I headed up to Mpls. We checked into the clinic, and they told us to head over to the hospital and go to Labor and Delivery. Now we were terrified. We went to labor and delivery and got checked in and put into a room. It took about a half hour before the doctor came to meet with us. He brought an ultrasound machine right into the room, and told us that they suspected that the bigger baby was showing fluid in his abdomen which would indicate the onset of heart failure. The ultrasound proved that there was indeed fluid in the abdomen, and the Doctor felt that the best option would be to deliver these babies as soon as possible as there would be nothing to do for baby B in utero if his heart should fail. There was little to no chance that this condition would improve if left untreated, so I was prepped for an emergency C section.
On Monday June 30th, at 4:57pm the first baby was born, Baby B named Zander Alan; and at 4:58pm the second baby was born, Baby A named Colin Gregory. Zander weighed in at 2lbs 1oz and 14in, and Colin weighed in at 1lb 2oz and was 11 in.
Both babies were rushed away to the NICU at the adjacent Children's Hospital, with dad in tow. Once they were stablized and once I came out of recovery, I was wheeled over to meet them.

Both babies are currently very critical but stable. We just made our first milestone of 24 hours, with the first 72 hours being the most critical. We felt it necessary to have both babies baptised as soon as possible, so both were baptised today, with mom, dad and Grandma Joanie at their side.
We thank all of you for all of your prayers and thoughts, and hope that you all continue to pray for our little ones while they continue on their difficult journey into this world. We will try to keep updating as soon as possible.
Love,
Sam, Christian, Holly, Alyssa and our two new boys Zander and Colin.

Level II Ultrasound @ 24 weeks

We had our Level II ultrasound yesterday. We found out Baby 'A' has approximately 21 weeks and 2 days growth. This is behind our actual 24 weeks gestation. Baby 'A' weighs approximately 15 oz. This is up from the 11 oz. he was only 3 weeks ago. This was to be expected as it is much smaller because of the TTTS. The heart rate was a little faster than usual, but the doctor's are not all that concerned. His heart rate was 150 bpm. They were able to find a trace amount of fluid around this baby equaling 0.5 cm. This is the first time in two weeks we have had a measurable amount of fluid, but is still well short of where we would like to be.

Baby 'B' is much larger. He weighs in at a robust 1 lb. 11 oz. and is 24 weeks plus 6 days growth. This is a little ahead of schedule. The heart rate is down a little to 126 bpm. The fluid around Baby 'B' has risen slightly to 11.0 cm. Those are the measurables.

The unmeasurables are that they are still growing and that is the good news. It would be really nice to see a bigger growth for Baby 'A', but at this point any growth is good. The doctors are still very concerned about the enlarged heart of Baby 'B'. We are going to be continually monitored twice a week and are hoping to make a few more weeks. They are ready to deliver at the first sign of any distress, but they do not want to take them before they have to. Next week we are having Dopplers done in Mankato (again?) on Monday. Hopefully they know what to look for this time. We have an appointment in Minneapolis on Thursday. The appointment in Minneapolis also includes meeting with the doctors at Children's to let us know our chances and how everything is going to be handled once we do deliver. At this point we are praying that things balance out a little better. This could be the turning week from everything we have read. The survival rate of infants that reach the next point increases immensely. It is still a long shot because of the complications, but we are praying that they can continue defying the odds.

Thank you everyone for the prayers and well wishes. Our family and friends mean so very much to us. Do not be afraid to contact us if you have more questions. We read everything. Please continue to pray for us and our babies. This has been a long and winding road and will continue to be, but no matter the outcome we know that we have a support system like no other. Thank you.

Love and well wishes,
Christian and Sam

24 weeks and counting

Well we made it another week. This week started out with some misinterpretation and more testing. Monday, Sam had testing done in Mankato just to check the fluid levels and heart tones of the twins per our Doctors request. This testing showed that we had a major increase in fluid levels and drop in heart rate for baby 'A'. We were not told about the fluid levels, but Sam did overhear that the heart rate was about 113 BPM. This is much lower than we have been consistently showing. After the appointment, Sam had called me to let me know the results she knew. We did not think much of it, but it only took about an hour before the Perinatal Clinic in Mpls. called to tell us they wanted us up there right away on Tuesday to verify the findings.

We had an early appointment, so we left home pretty early in the morning. Sam had packed another bag because we thought that maybe this would be the time that she was to stay at the hospital until she delivers. We met with ultrasound technician (great guy, we have had him a couple of times) and he told us what some of the findings were in Mankato. Mankato had discovered over 20 cm of fluid around baby 'B' and no fluid around baby 'A' . When he went through both babies again he found that not much has changed from the week before. He thought maybe the technicians in Mankato might not have known what to look for and measured wrong. The Abbott technician commented that we are holding pretty steady at 10 cm for B and very little around the other. The heart rates were are also holding steady. This was reassuring news for us, but also frustrating at the same time because we drove 2 hours just to find out that there was nothing to be concerned with.

He took these results to our doctor and then he met with us. The doctor is fairly happy with the progress of the twins, but is concerned because these babies are not the following any pattern that he typically sees. From what he said, the twins are really doing there own thing and as long as they are still progressing they will stay "in the oven." Although we are not following a typical TTTS schedule, he is hoping that we will continue on our own path. He told us to roughly plan on being admitted to the hospital in a few weeks for daily monitoring, but now we will continue with twice a week visits. He is concerned about the hearts of both babies, so we are also scheduled to meet with the pediatric cardiologist next week for his diagnosis. We also had a rough guess of a weight of 1 lb+ for Baby 'A' (which means he is growing!) but we did not get a size for Baby 'B'. We are having a more thorough Level II ultrasound on Thursday with accurate growth measurements, so there will be much more to comment on then.

23 Weeks

Well we made it to week 23, and completed week 2 of modified bed rest. I had the Betamethasone (steriod) shots this week, and had an ultrasound and saw the Dr. today. There were really no significant changes in either baby. Baby B's fluid level was at 10cm, but they could not find a traceable amount of fluid for baby A. They said this could be because of how he was positioned, so they don't feel that it really has gone down since last week. They are disappointed that the fluid levels have not leveled out after the surgery, but are still hopeful that our babies are strong. They are still concerned with the enlargement of the heart of Baby B (the recipient), but feel that it is because of the stress of the TTTS before the surgery. The Dr. wants me to have bi-weekly Bio-physical profiles (BPP) so they can closely monitor the babies and look for any changes. I will now have the BPP (or ultrasound with dopplers) on Mondays in Mankato, and then head to Mpls on Thursdays for the next few weeks. The Dr. said that he felt the best place for the babies is still in the womb, and even if we were at 28 weeks (with a better chance of survival) that he would still recommend they stay in the oven. This was some reassuring news I guess. We also toured the NICU at Children's Hospital today so we could have a glimpse of what our future may look like after our babies are born. Pretty scary to see such sick, small babies, but we both feel that they will be well taken care of there and that will be the best place for them once they are born.
Next Thursday they plan to check the growth of each baby, so we are hopeful that they are both growing. My belly is for sure getting bigger, so I hope that they are as well. :) My belly measured in at 45 in. this week! Wowzers! Bring it on babies!
That is really all the news I have for this week. Each week seems to be a small milestone, and we are thankful we have made it this far. Keep thinking of us, and check back next week!
Love to all,
Sam and Chris and family

At 22 weeks

Another trip to Minneapolis to check on our babies. After a long wait in the waiting room it was our turn again. We never know what we might find out, so we try to console each other while the technician takes a look at our babies. Again the dopplers for both babies look good, and both appear to be producing urine. Baby A's fluid level is .8cm, and Baby B's fluid level is 9cm. This is not good news, but I guess it is not bad news either. We saw a different perinatologist today, but he managed to answer some of our questions in a different manner, and boy did we have lots of them. We are scheduled for the Betamethasone steroid shots for next week. These will be given because our babies will more than likely be born prematurely, and they will help boost lung development. We were told that we may face some very tough decisions on whether or not to have the babies prematurely in the near future, but we are hoping that our babies can hang on until 28 weeks and we will go from there. We keep praying.
Thanks to all of you who have called to check in on us, and who have sent prayers and well wishes our way. It is great to know that we have a wonderful support team out there cheering for us along this difficult road.

Week 21 Appointment

Our next appointment was not the best of visits. We again had an ultrasound scan with doppler readings and growth measurements, and at this visit the fluid levels were not as stable as they were after surgery. Baby A's fluid level was at .9cm ( a drastic drop) and Baby B's fluid level was around 8cm. Also baby A was weighing in at 11oz and measuring 19 weeks, and baby B was weighing in at 17oz and measuring 21 weeks. This was not the good news we had been hoping and praying for. While both babies' dopplers still looked good, and both were producing urine, the very low fluid level for Baby A, was now a reason for great concern. The doctor felt confident that he had fused all the conjoining blood vessels and that each baby was receiving nourishment on their own from mom, but now feels that we were posed with an uneven placental share, leaving baby A with a very little share of the placenta resulting in the low fluid levels. Sam was put on bedrest with hopes to help stabilize the fluid levels. We were scheduled to be back to the clinic in another week. That was a very rough afternoon for the both of us. We continued to pray for our little baby boys.

Surgery @ 19 weeks

My wife had the surgery on May 22 and it seemed to be a success. Both mom and babies recovered well after a 6 day hospital stay with daily ultrasounds. Before being released from the hospital we had a final ultrasound to verify that babies were still doing well and that the fluid levels were stable. At this ultrasound, baby A's fluid level was 2.25cm, and baby B's fluid level was in the 7cm range. The dopplers looked good and mom and babies were sent home to normal life until the next appointment the following week. Sam went back to work, trying to take it a little easier, but was extremely happy to be back to regular life.

Level II UltraSound Visit @ 19 weeks

The next couple of visits were nothing more than checking Doppler tones of the two fetuses and standard testing. Not very exciting reading, I know, but we did get scheduled for a Level II Ultrasound in Minneapolis at 19 weeks. This would be the first time we got see the babies since the first ultrasound at nine weeks. We did have a choice of which hospital to have this ultrasound done at, but if there were any complications we would more than likely be sent to Minneapolis. Sam and I thought it would be nice to become familiar with the hospital in case something should happen.

Our Level II exam started very well. We were pleased to hear that were having boys. The technician was encouraged by the size and the Doppler tones of Baby B. As he progressed through to Baby A he became very quiet and went about the exam. He concluded the exam and stated that the doctor would be in very shortly to speak with us. 30 minutes later, a doctor appeared and informed us that he thought our twins had the signs of Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). He explained what the syndrome was and if it was truly the case what our options would be. Our options were do nothing and wait an see what transpires, do serial amniocentesis, or have an experimental laser surgery to try to fix this condition. Now remember we are only at 19 weeks at this point and it is rare to be diagnosed this early. We knew we were having twins and that this is a disease that does affect twins, so we knew a little about it, but it only affects about 10% off identical twins, so it was more or less dismissed in our readings. The doctor was not ready to diagnose that this syndrome is actually present, so he asked us to come back the following day to follow up with a doctor who is more familiar with these types of cases. We were sent on our way with our heads spinning.

That night my wife and I did a lot of research on this syndrome and thanks to some great websites we learned that there were options and the risks with those options. Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome is an abnormality that causes an uneven flow of blood between two babies of an identical twin pregnancy through blood vessels that are present in the common placenta, resulting in a larger baby and a smaller baby. This occurs in about 10-15% of identical twin pregnancies for unknown reasons. (See links to the left).

The next morning we got our kids off to school, loaded up "The Minivan" with a small overnight bag for Sam just in case, and headed back to the cities not knowing what might become of our visit. This trip for us to the hospital is about an hour and a half each way, but it seems much farther when you are not sure what to expect. We met with a doctor who has extensively studied TTTS. He informed us that the fluid level in baby A (the donor baby) was 1.75cm and baby B (the recipient) was over 9cm, and that baby B was starting to show signs of heart distress. Baby A was also more than 15% smaller than baby B, and our stage of TTTS was estimated to be a 3. The Dr. went through our options again with more details, and gave us some percentages of survival rates of each option. We both quickly decided that our best option would be to have the Selective Laser Ablation surgery here in MN the very next day as we felt the urgency was necessary. Sam was then admitted to the hospital to be put on antibiotics before the surgery the next day.

Our 1st Doctor's Visit @ 9 weeks

We wasted no time to visit the Doctor's office once we discovered we were pregnant again. We wanted to make sure everything was going well so far. The Doctor understood our eagerness and did an ultrasound right in his exam room. The machine he was using a little older so the picture was not very clear. He scanned the belly and showed us our baby and said that the blinking light was the baby's heartbeat, but in corner of the scan there was another flashing light. Hmm?

I said, "Are we having twins?"

He said, "Thanks for stealing my thunder."
Shocked we were.

He then sent us to an off site facility to determine which type of twins we were having; identical or fraternal. It was discovered that we were having identical twins, because both babies were located in the same placenta, but with separate amniotic sacs (monochorionic/diamniotic). It was then that it really dawned on us that our family would soon be a family of 6! My wife seemed to take the news well, except for the fact that she would have to trade in our Jeep Cherokee for a much despised mini van!

Our History Together

We have been reading quite a bit of blogs about Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome to get more information from people that have been through what we have been through. We are using this blog to get our story out there so maybe we can provide another account of a couples trials and tribulations as we are going through our own pregnancy.

Sam and I have been married a little more than a year. She is 29 years and I am 33. We each brought one great child into the relationship (both girls). Our oldest (Sam's child) is 10 years old and very mature for her age. My child is 7 years old and really is a typical kid. They both have been through too much for their young ages, but they really do love the family as we are. Nothing is cooler than gaining a sister about your own age.

This is our second attempt at getting pregnant as the first one lasted less than 12 weeks. We got pretty much the standard run around for three weeks as we waited to find out what was going on. We had our first ultrasound in the OBGYN's office and a second one at an off-site Ultrasound facility a week later. It took a third week to let us know that the pregnancy was ended as a result of a missed miscarriage. This was very difficult for my wife and I as we both really wanted to get have a child together and even nine months seemed too long to wait.

We were lucky to have a second opportunity at our first child together and wouldn't you know it, we were blessed with twins. Here is our story........